Saturday, March 14, 2009
Hello... Its the holidays and i'm already feeling bored. Shit.... Why cant holidays be as exciting as before? haha. Anyway, I've been balling for 2 alternate days with different grps of ppl... Something to take my time off... Better then nothing i guess. haha. It was all fun. haha.
Life's been pretty much the same, rotting at home instead of running which i planned to do... haha. Starts tml anyway... haha. I think i'm really wasting my life la... oh well... I'm oblivious to the fact that the world is moving at such a extreme pace that i cant seem to catch up with society. I'm seriously rotting away... Time and time again i try to wake myself up from my dreamland but time and time again i'm disappointed by my own attitude towards life. I seem to have no motive in life, no goals, no motivation. I wonder how i'm gonna survive if i keep carrying on like that... I see myself as a pathetic human trying to figure out what's in store for me, what's my life about, when others seem to have found their calling at least to something... I can't even think of what to write when i'm typing this now. that's how bad i am. Though with these kinds of thought lingering in my mind every single day, I've never thought of suicide. That's even worse... I'd reckon i'll be too lazy to set up the set for me to commit it. haha. On a brighter note, I'm really thinking through bout my life, what i'm gonna do when i grow up and stuff... haha. There was once when i was eating dinner, i saw this parent shouting at her kid. I was thinking to myself : Better not do that to my kid, talk to him nicely, ask him the problem, show him the correct way to get things done --> This kind of things... Like parenting steps like that... haha. I think it must have been so random. But that's me... Can't change it can i? haha. I needa go out and have a breath of fresh air, but nobody calls me... haha. except that one time where Qh called me and i was out with family. haha. Sian... I don't mind like wandering around alone but i dunnoe where i wan to go... ( that's why its called wandering u dumbo ) but i just need to have a destination and i will take myself from there. haha. Damn... I'm utterly screwed up...
guess i better end that part of the emo emo stuff... haha. I'm gonna think what i'm gonna do tml... Adios Amigos... take care. :D