Tuesday, April 22, 2008
i think that it is my mum making the decisions for me rather dan me making them myself...its lyk everything also she decides and even if she gives me a choice, she always makes me feel that she wans me to do this do that...
for example, the o's thing. she talked to me bout it and started saying that i could go poly, life would be better, ppl wont look down on me...sounds as if she wans me to make the choice to retake...i mean if u really wan me to make a choice, just give me some time and shut up. i am old enough to make my own decision.
now i haf thoughts bout not retaking and she starts by saying all this came from wat i done. lyk wat the F***. she was the one that started talking bout this o's thing. if she had kept her big mouth shut, i wouldnt even haf thought bout it...shit...
dan i discussed with her whether i could not retake dan she said that i had to go explain to all the ppl who wanted to help me with the studying and stuff.. she put me in a situation and wans me to get out on my own. she was the one who placed me here in the first place by talking bout the o's!!!
Now i haf seriously no idea how to cope since i joined the dragon boat... -_-". the school really has no cca at all. so no life, no variety...i'm afraid one dae i will just fall asleep in the middle of something that i'm doing.
Dear Lord, pls give me the strength to cope amidst all these things